Table for One? Yes, please—But I’m Saving a Spot.
From a Moment of Extroversion to a Table for Two. Maybe?
Listen to me read this post. (Yes, I fixed the title after recording this. 🫠)
(If this post is too long for your email, just click the title and go read it in Substack.)
Dear,
Greetings from room 521!
I’m sitting by the window in my room at the refurbished Hotel Hamburger Börs in Turku.
The view is lovely. The city is waking up to another unseasonably warm November Saturday. Christmas decorations and lights are already up—too early, if you ask me.
But I’m always happy when I’m in Turku.1
I’m here for my office Christmas Party 2024. Every year, I do something nice for myself, and this year, it’s a visit to Turku. It’s my 13th Christmas party spent alone, and I. Love. Every. Moment.
Well, except this year, I’m not exactly alone.
Crazy moment of extroversion
I arrived yesterday by bus with 20 other people. And I say with because it wasn’t just a random group of people—it was a curated collection of individuals, all invited to be on this particular bus, not with me, but with Satu Rämö.2
We were invited to see Hildur, the play based on Satu’s first three books, which runs to full houses at Turku City Theatre. Just two weeks earlier, I had attended the launch party for Satu’s fourth book in the series, Rakel.
I usually say no to everything, especially events like these. I’m not at my best out and about, and being around new people drains my energy. But for some reason, I RSVP’d a big, fat yes to both events.3
This rare moment of extroversion finally got me onto a bus to Turku. During the two-hour ride, we chatted about books, dogs, and Swedish language immersion. But I also took some time to read (Heartstopper, Volume 5!) and admire the sky, which turned redder and redder the closer we got to Turku. Not too shabby. I actually felt... surprisingly at ease.
Lonely Wolf
It’s not that I don’t know how to be around people. I might prefer to be a wallflower, but I’m also deeply interested in people and their stories. Still, it’s true in many ways: I’m a lone wolf.
I have plenty of colleagues who miss having a team or workmates to share their workdays with. They miss community, shared lunches, and coffee breaks. They miss working together with others.
I never miss people. I love working from home, working alone—just being with my own thoughts, wearing slightly too scruffy clothes, and going for walks with my dog during the day. I love a good community as long as it stays outside. I never miss anyone.4
Or at least, that was the case until 2024, when I decided to go all-in on communications work.
From working alone to working as a part of a team
I started doing tiny consulting jobs shortly after launching my podcast in 2017. But when the pandemic hit in 2020, I was lucky enough to land a gig overseeing the entire communications strategy for one company.
Slowly, I slithered down the communications hole and did less and less portrait photography. This suited me well because the jobs were manageable with a baby. But there was one problem: The projects I did were, in many ways, similar to my photography work—short and sweet and over in a moment.
In 2023, I got tired of doing these somewhat random projects and decided to give portrait photography one more go, my best. Maybe I’d fall back in love with it if I stopped doing everything else? Nope. I just felt like I was outside my comfort zone all the time. (That’s a story for another time.)
After a detour into teacher studies, I started to see my path more clearly. The problem wasn’t communications work itself but its quality. The shortness and sweetness of the projects left me feeling empty. I wanted to see what my actions, decisions, and suggestions could create—what happened afterwards?
Three ways getting back to 9 to 5 changed my life
I’m 40 years old and very aware of the fact that, while I love working alone, I can only achieve so much by myself. But when there are more peas in the pod, the results can be far more powerful and accomplish much more good than my one-woman show ever could.
That’s why, this time last year, I made a decision: If I continued taking communications clients, they’d have to take me as part of their teams.
I’ve been extremely fortunate, as my calendar is nicely full at the moment, allowing me to focus on projects that feel meaningful and are long-term. Getting back to a ‘9-to-5’ routine has truly changed my life. Here’s why:
I no longer work evenings and weekends like I did as a photographer. Now, I can focus on spending quality time with my family, which makes me very happy and relaxed at the moment.5
I get to collaborate with amazing people on meaningful projects that align with my values. Being part of a team allows me to contribute more effectively than working solo.
Sales stress is, at the moment, a thing of the past.6 Communications work, combined with smaller projects and photography, provides a more steady income. Aaand with financial stability, my creativity flows more freely. (This, too, is a story for another time.)
My new focus hasn’t changed the fact that I’m a business owner first and foremost. Fortunately, in this line of work, what’s best for me often aligns with what’s best for my clients too.
But shifting my focus this year has taught me that I actually like to sit at a table with other people. The urge to do more meaningful things together is powerful. I still love my cozy home office by the kitchen window, but the threshold to leave home is lower now.
Table for Two, Maybe?
I checked out room 521 and went to have lunch with my business bestie, Janina. We talked shop, Substack, and shared our ever-evolving theories about the illnesses we most definitely (but not really) have now that we’re in our forties. We laughed so hard that I almost wished I’d miss my train—just to keep laughing a little longer, and harder.
These are the kind of people I want in my life. They get me.
What’s even more interesting is how much I’ve grown this year—both personally and professionally. It’s not just about the work I’m doing, but about how my perspective has shifted. I want to work, but more than that, I want to do it alongside others. Collaborating. Building new things. Polishing the old. Getting excited together.
For over 10 years, I’ve worked solo. I love my own company (pun absolutely intended), but I think I’ve realized that I love being part of something even more.
Office Christmas Party 2024 felt different this year. It’s almost as if… I didn’t want to be alone this time. So now, with this new mindset, I’m starting to wonder: What does the future hold? Could I grow this (communications) side of my business to the point where I’d actually need a table for two?
That question excites me. This year has been full of unexpected twists and turns, but I’m beginning to see how—and why—the pieces are falling into place.
Looking forward to the next chapter, and the next party,
Nani
PS: I’d love to hear in the comments (or feel free to email me) if you’ve experienced a similar shift! 👋🏻
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For history enthusiasts: Finland gained independence on December 6, 1917. Before that, we were under Swedish and later Russian rule. Turku served as Finland's administrative, cultural, and economic center from 1809 to 1812. After Sweden lost the Finnish War (1808–1809), Finland was ceded to the Russian Empire, and the capital was eventually moved to Helsinki. A series of significant events followed, ultimately leading to our independence from Russia—or Soviet Russia—over a century ago. /historylesson
Satu Rämö is a Finnish author whose Hildur crime novels have caused quite a buzz. Over 600,000 copies have been sold in Finland alone, and with translations, the total is significantly higher. Even The Guardian published a glowing piece about her.
My personal connection with Satu is simple: she was a guest on my former Luovia podcast a couple of years ago, and since then, I’ve been on the list. I deeply admire her talent and business acumen.
This has happened to me before. After reading Shonda Rhimes’s Year of Yes, I started grabbing every opportunity and saying yes to everything. But now I wonder—why did I stop? Maybe I met too many people and just wanted some time alone for a change. 😅
And when I say never, I mean… well… never. I enjoy seeing people and love spending time with friends, but the things many people typically do together—shopping, lunching, brunching, jogging—I’d much rather do alone.
I often quote a friend who once said: “I wish I could say on my deathbed, ‘I spent too much time with the kids when they were little.’”
Of course, I think about sales and constantly monitor the bookkeeping. But now that I have a solid base income, I can plan my weeks and months in a more thoughtful way.
Why Paris when we have Turku 🤩
Sooo good!! For me it's both - why choose one when you can have both 😁 To have all that precious time and space with myself AND share/work together/enjoy being with others who also stand on their own feet. And get excited together, it's so fun!